I watched a program last night on KBYU t.v. about addictions. It took a sympathetic approach to those with addiction problems with the intent of helping families see that addiction to anything becomes an actual physical/brain problem. It was also pointed out that no one ever recovers from these thing by going it alone, which is interesting, because 'healthy' people have a tendancy to believe that you can simply demand abstinance and he/she has the power to just stop doing whatever it is they're doing, sort of the way parents treat children, and the problem is solved. Not true.

It set me to thinking about my own reactions to stress. My response is to become angry and vocal. And you know what?? That was my family's response. That doesn't surprise anyone because responses are mostly learned. I react the way my mother reacted, she reacted the way her mother responded. And looking back over my life, a pattern is always clearly showing, stretching as far back as I can see. And that really is quite a ways. It spans the entire last century. In my family it is not uncommon to say, "She's acting just like ---- and that just isn't acceptable."

But here's the thing. These people, mostly or all women, react to problems by voicing their concerns with alarm and defensiveness, and that's all they do. Clearly, that's all they did. And then they wait for somebody else to do something about it. This somebody else is the Great White Knight, I guess. Truth be told, I've never seen him/her show up. So the frustration and the problem live on and on because no one thinks of a solution or makes a move to change. They're waiting for the White Knight to show up. And it never happens.

Frustration has been proven to lead to aggression. And aggression is anger and upset, etc. No one wins on this merry-go-round and worst of all there is no solution. Part of all this is that I think I have to completely fix the problem myself or I believe I can't fix it at all. And that does no good. The real solution would be to find your own thoughts and let a plan develop that you can put into action. Do what you can. And don't get all upset and defensive. Oh that won't work...that's too easy!! Tee hee. It's not easy to change your spots. My goal is to be more kind and gentle, and to accept my own limitations, but on the other hand, do what I can to show support for others and their problems.
Except for ____ she drives me nuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hmmm.........