Several years ago I was by myself in the Cincinatti airport. I had a layover of a few hours and, being alone, there was nothing to do but sit and think. It was a very suppressed atomosphere there. You know airports are almost always painted in very subdued colors of grayish blue, for crowd control I think. There's no way anybody could think or feel like doing anything there. So I sat there and watched people move about and thought about ... stuff.
I was reading a Barbara Sher book at the time. It is my wont to read and have a notebook handy where I write my responses. At this point in my reading, Ms Sher suggested her readers think of good role models for themselves. I was thinking of some of the really good women in my family. It was my hope then that I could somehow be good enough to be part of their group. We have some amazing grandmothers in our heritage.
I was reading a Barbara Sher book at the time. It is my wont to read and have a notebook handy where I write my responses. At this point in my reading, Ms Sher suggested her readers think of good role models for themselves. I was thinking of some of the really good women in my family. It was my hope then that I could somehow be good enough to be part of their group. We have some amazing grandmothers in our heritage.
Lately I've watched my own deal with their own problems that are full of challenges. Now I see myself looking forward, not back, and I can see the majesty of their personalities and integrity. I see their power and strength. I feel their intensity in wanting to do the right thing for their families. Life is a tremendous push.
I no longer worry about being good enough to fit in. I just want to do my job and do what I can to help. I'm in the center of these generations, the ones coming and the ones that are gone. Who knows if I can make a difference? What's important is that I help and do whatever it is that I can do. I hope I'm not too old to do much good. Someday I want to get a pin or pendant for each of my daughters that is shaped like a crown to remind them of who they are and who they belong to, also to help each of them to remember that governing their families and their own lives is almost never easy, but it is a godly job with much majesty built into it.
2 comments:
This is a very nice post. At times I have felt... this nobility or divinity to simply being a woman. I've always treasured that. It's a gift, but also a great responsibility.
The more I'm "out in the world," the more I realize that this feeling, this teaching, this knowing, is a rare thing. I appreciate your example and your teaching. I think you fit in better than you realize.
Thank you JoAnna. I know you have a great deal of nobility and divinity within you.
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