I really hope no one mentions my birthday this year....really, really, seriously. I haven't been the same since Papabear had his in January. Back then I had six months until I turn the dreaded SIXTY. AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!! Never in my wildest did I ever expect to actually turn 60!!!!! I'm too young to be 60!!!! [Think 48...48...48...]
Da**! I'm still waiting to fall in love and dance in the snow.
You know what happens now? Mostly I'm ignored. I'm becoming invisible to everybody...like I'm OLD or something. Guess I just don't have much to say. And it's not you guys....it's just people in general. Perhaps my voice is too old and 'teeny tiny' to be heard anymore. Ah well....
I'm also quite bored. And I don't know anything. Today in church we were signing up for water barrels to use in our storage plans. Hah! I don't even have a can of tuna for food storage. And how do you manipulate a 55 gallon of water?? They weigh 440 pounds or something. I'm supposed to know, but I don't have a clue. Well, you buy a little doohicky for it, I think.
I'm depressed. I don't know anything about gardening. Anybody can get tomatoes to grow, right? But how? Don't you have to add compost or something to the soil and spray the blossoms so they don't fall off? How did I miss the boat so many times/?
I don't cook. That's a real joke! I can't even do pre-conceived cookies and get them very good. I think when I got married there was a mandate written that says I must be a lousy cook and never do anything that anyone wants to eat....especially Papabear. Oh just can it!!! Who's hungry anyway??? Go to Dee's if you're hungry.
So, here I sit whining and blubbering about nothing. I want to be young and in love........it's rather embarassing to say that. Agghh.... it just gets lonesome and boring sitting by yourself all day, knowing that things will never get better. I'll just get older and fewer and fewer family will come to visit. I think, really, I start missing Ben...a lot...because this has been happening every Sunday night now for about a month.
Oh well, Khrysibear has shown me how to make a really cool playlist on this contraption. My favorite songs....mmmmhmmm.... Guess I'll quit feeling sorry for myself and go to bed. You two have a nice Monday if you can. Hope the week goes by at a good pace for you. [Any others of you have a nice day too. love you all ]
6 years ago
6 comments:
:(
i have to get over it...knock it off..and oh shut up!!!! Today is much better.
Thanks for commenting.
I really didn't know what to say. It sounds like maybe you need to have a big huge birthday blow out and celebrate yourself. And quit being so hard on yourself. You're great! So, what is it you really want to be doing??? Can you feel it? Can you intend/wish/pray it to be?
NICE ADVICE....THANK YOU
I don't know what I want. Maybe I'm suffering from empty-nest syndrome. i want a life...whatever that means, but I'm too old to do much. Maybe I just need a haircut. My hair is sooo stupid, really really stupid. But she did it just like I asked, I think. Oh well. I get like this when my hair is a mess. I just don't want to do anything. Strange, huh?
Everyone needs a haircut every once in awhile, maybe get the nails done... just a spa day in general... then lunch... I worry about getting empty nest too, which is funny since I still have 4 year olds, but then again so do you every once in awhile.
Steve and I talked this morning about having one go around and why not make it count? Live large, be happy, if you're not happy, change it up, see what you need to do to get there.
I'm all for the birthday bash! Why not?
You're not invisible... and neither am i.... we need to remember that. Especially when we're bummed out
THANKS HEATHER...I was practicing being younger, which I really believe in. It was working quite well, then all of a sudden Mr.Bear turned 60 and I crashed. It's like my body said, "Oh no you don't!" Now I've started a new book that verifies the same processing so I think I'll get back on track, but with NO birthday. I haven't done birthdays this year for anyone, so I don't want to start now.
I think some of this is, that the twins aren't here. Except for ignoring me half the time, they are a good tonic for energy and feeling younger. And I'll get my hair cut, someday. I have you and jak and khrys for support....who could ask for more. Thanks
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