I missed everyone's birthdays. This morning as I sat in silence, which is unusual, it occurs to me that I could have made desserts to send home for each of these people or something. But I just sit like a bump on a log.
As I grew up, birthdays were basically ignored in my family. They weren't entirely ignored but I think I could count the celebrations of my own on three fingers for all 18 or 20 first years of my life. Hence, the ability to create such celebrations for others is just not to be found in my data bank. I am so dumb. As a youngster, I believed that my younger sister got at least twice the number of birthday parties that I did, but I don't remember ever celebrating one for my two older sisters. Never. Diana's birthday is December 24th. You can imagine trying to throw a party on that day. Later, when I was married with children, Norm, her husband, tried very hard to have a birthday celebration for Diana on her birthdays, while most of the family was gathered to exchange Christmas presents anyway. He would bring cake and birthday gifts. Most of us brought a present for her, but we almost always expressed our apologies for having so much left to do for the next day that we had to be leaving and would hope to see her tomorrow. Bah!!! How pitiful. What was wrong with us anyway???
On one of my teen birthdays I was painting my new bedroom before we moved into the house. That's an okay reason to let it slide by. On another, earlier I think, I do remember resolving to say nothing at all about the approaching day to test everyone and find out if they would remember me. They didn't. It was sunset, in June, that night when I casually mentioned, "Today's my birthday", which brought about exclamations of sudden realization..."Today's your birthday??" "Oh that's right!!" "Why didn't you say so?" Poor me. Oh well.
Another birthday, I went to a friends house and told her it was my birthday. She wouldn't believe me. It didn't make sense to her that I would be at her house, doing nothing, if it really was my birthday.
So, okay, now that I sound totally pathetic and self-absorbed...today is not my birthday, by the way.....I will explain that the reason for typing all this is to somehow explain why I never do birthdays for other people. I don't expect anyone to believe me, but I do think about your birthdays for weeks ahead of time. But then, the actual day just kind of sneaks up on me. Da^# I'm dumb*##! I so want to be efficient... but I must have got in the wrong line for things when talents were being doled out in heaven. I must have got in the dumb line three or four times.
But if it's the thought that counts in these things...I do think alot. So, I hope you have a happy birthday, whenever it is.
6 years ago
8 comments:
This is a rather bitter sweet post. It's sad to hear that your birthdays were ignored. Maybe you should have a BIG party this year and just go all out!
I feel like I've cared more about my birhtdays as an adult than I did as a kid, which seems backwards. I think it's good to celebrate things. I had a couple really good birhtdays as an adult because I was happy with myself and wanted to celebrate me!
As for your inefficiency... I've thought this before in some of your blogs. As I read your words, I can sense how the thoughts, feelings, etc. are such a block. I'm not sure how to explain it, and I know it's so easy for me to say, but it's like there's something there you're tripping over and if you could just... well, like you tell me, just let it go... you'd be alright.
I've had a few things lately that I feel I'm learning do better when I just "accept it." The whole "no change needed" thing. I'm not sure how that applies here. Maybe if you just said, fine, I don't acknowledge people's birthdays (perhaps leave out the judgements), it's just something I don't do, then all the negative stuff around it can settle and you can figure out what you WANT to do and how to do it?
Oh, listen to me. Can you tell I'm about out of stuff to do at work? Blah blah blah.
Thank you so much for your comments. You make a lot of sense to me.
Simple solution... and maybe I should instigate it since I brought a brood to the family... lol What if we just celebrated all birthday's collectively once a month with a bbq or breakfast on a weekend? I'm sure there's one weekend morning or afternoon we could all get together and do that whether or not there are birthday's that month and if we need to combine two months, lets do it....
There are a lot of birthdays bunched together I've noticed so that might be a simple solution to recognize everyone and not worry so much about the individual birthdays... one cake... gifts totally not necessary (the kids might expect them but I doubt the adults would)
Just throwing it out there. Don't be so hard on yourself about things. We'll put together a planning committee... lol it's all good.
Thanks...I like the idea of a planning committee...haha..seriously, good idea.
I think Heather has a great idea! Let's do that!
I'm also thinking that this year, I'm going to throw my own birthday party. My last birhtday, we had a family dinner so that was nice, but Jeff and I did NOTHING. The year before, we went to dinner and a movie but only because my work gave me free movie tickets. I don't care much about presents and stuff, but is it okay to ask the love of your life to at least do something (not just birhtdays, but Valentine's etc)?!?!
I think so, but I guess it also depends on circumstances. My birthday popped up right after deposits for pets and taxes and all sorts of bills, so it's been postponed indefinitely... that way no one feels bad and when and if someone wants to do something they can or will.... I'm easy....
that's really sad that you didn't get a birthday from your honey. Don't they know that we girls wait forever to have a sweetheart to give us presents??? It's part of being the princess in his life. Tell him to check out Jackie on That Seventy's Show on TV. She tells it like it is about this stuff.
You forget who the princess is in the house, an it is not me....
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