Last year...2007...was a good year. It brought many blessings that were deeply appreciated following the year before that ended very much like being hit by a small earthquake. I lost two daughters-in-law in one year and the effect on all of us was, we'll just say life altering. Aside from the impact on their ex-spouses and children, however, I have to admit that I don't miss either of the exes myself. Makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me, whether I might be emotionally cold or something. Hmmm...I might be emotionally protective of my children.
Anyway, my family has been blessed, very abundantly, with new, vigorous, full of life and laughter wonderfulness. The new family count includes two new daughters-in-law who are soooo far above and beyond the old ones that they cannot ever be reached. It leaves me wondering just what there was in those old relationships. Anyway, two amazing new daughters-in-law, six new grandchildren (two adults whom I have adopted as my own and that's just how it is.I'm not giving them back), two new babies expected in the spring. ( I'm hoping for a third next year as well...hope, hope, hope. ) If I go back two years, there were two new sons-in-law and a new grandson in 2006. Wonderful!!! They are all wonderful....everyone is perfect and good and loved. Khrystibear adopted the PugDog and he has certainly become her very own best friend. He lives at my house and is very well-mannered and delightful to have around.
Papabear, as noted returned home to live and work. He is my concern, if any, because he hates the cold weather and there has been more of that this year than in the last three years combined. He works hard, gets up really early to commute for an hour with very vexing traffic conditions that he hates, and comes home to a wife who doesn't cook well and is highly inefficient.
Brings me to point B or whatever... hopes for the new year, or as they say, New Year's Resolutions. I must become more efficient and effective. It's interesting that most of the women I've noticed lately seem to be trying to get a grip on life and stop reeling from the holidays now. We turn to our house and have a strong urge to get it back in order. As of now, I am doing my Spring Cleaning, probsbly from last spring, but nonetheless......I have been moving furniture around in an attempt to make my domestic environment more efficient. The phone jack my computer hooks up to gets knocked off the wall several times a year. So, it would seem practical to move the thing to a new location, eh? Then here's how it all starts rolling like an avalanche in January. Hmm, I say to myself one day, danged if I don't really, really want to get some sewing done, only my sewing desk is being used as a computer desk, so where does that put the sewing machine? I don't know!!!!! Haven't figured that one out yet!! The computer, and the televsion of course, ALWAYS get priority. They have to have a place to live no matter what!!!!! Anyway, it gets to this...if I shut down this obnoxious jak, there is another one in the other room that could be used for the computer. Then I can move the whole system in there. Efficient???Maybe...50/50 possibility. I'll take it! Then I can move out my pretty little red table that I bought for my own birthday once to use as a coffee table. (Nobody wanted it used for a coffee table. They wanted it banned to the other room.) But what for the almighty computer to sit on??? Hmmm....the sofa tables in the entrance (didn't know I had one did you?)could be lined up and look quite nice for that. Okay, here we go...move the sofa tables. Get the jack hooked up. Move the computer. Bring out my beautiful little red table. Figure out whether to move the etegere to a new place or no. Pull and move...a little here, some there...dust, dust everywhere, yuck!...Now how does that look??? Hmm...now where shall I display my family photos and the new shale plates we got for Christmas? The sofa tables are for the computer now. Ugh. I wonder how Heather and Stephen make decorating look so effortless and perfectly planned.
Have I mentioned that my goal for the new year is to become efficient? I think I was getting around to that here. I just want things to move smoothly. But I think all this unsettledness is a psycho-problem...well that and the fact that this house has NO CLOSETS WHATSOEVER. Also, anyone with the amount of books and magazines we have collected has, really, no hope of ever making it work. Not to even mention the old sheet music that is still under the bed in there..... Hmm, pardon me...I got a little distracted again.
About this quest for efficiency.....................I wonder why I could not have been blessed with a talent to be Efficient, Effective, and Energized. Is that too much to ask? I suppose the answer to that is that I am supposed to learn all that on my own with the result of superhuman efficiency, effectiveness and energy. Well, it ain't happenin'. I am a failed experiment. The longer I live, the more I realize that we just are who we are. Lots of things are taught so well and so early that we are just ingrained with our inabilities. Still, like a quickly-babbling brook coursing over the rocks all day and getting nowhere, there is a strong push from somewhere to keep trying. Someday, methinks, it will, must, come to a jell and just happen. All the work and thinking , etc, must net out a result. Hmm,maybe not. Like the brook, it just keeps trying, but never gets anywhere. There is so much to be done. Other people manage. I really admire them. They may not recognize how lucky they are. So, my goal remains....become efficient. Stop laughing.....it's rude.....
5 years ago
6 comments:
In my opinion, efficiency and organization are overrated and can make one neurotic. I think you may forget some of your positive aspects while you're focusing on everything you're not doing. I think you're an amazing woman. I feel so welcomed and comfortable around you, like I've known you forever. You're the kind of Grandma I've always wanted my kids to have. Someone who appreciates people more than possessions. Someone who has or makes the time to listen to a babbling 10 yr old or constantly jabbering 3 year olds. I think the fact that the boys called you granda from the first day on gives you grandma credibility... I hope that with you and my mother and my grandmother, that I can take the best parts of all of you and be a good grandmother also.
I appreciate your love and support and open arms, especially with as quickly as things went between Steve and I. I think we expected some hesitation from our parental units but got none. I absolutely enjoy having 'the family' over and I'm glad people are comfortable with coming over, even with the chaos.
I think you're kids are lucky to have someone like you as their mom and the grandkids are lucky to have you as a grandma. Someone who knows that hugs and attention are much more important that dust... if there is anything I can do to help with your goals, let me know...
Even if the brook never "gets where it's going," what would happen if it stopped? Don't give up on yourself yet!
I've said before that maybe teaching kids that they can be/do anything they set their minds to isn't the right approach. A short person is probaby NEVER going to become an NBA star. It's about accepting what you are and what you have and working with it. I think that's a good thing.
I read recently some article about education and test scores or something. A survey asked kids "how do you be good at academics? what does it take?" American kids said "brains." In China (?) they said "hard work." Perhaps efficiency isn't so much an inborn talent, but a skill that takes work. Bahumbug. I mean, so get to it!
I remember, hopefully not too long into my childhood, thinking that I didn't have to be messy when I ate because my mom was so tidy and dainty and never made a mess around, or even on, her plate. I've watched you sew, crochet, make food and you are precise and make things pretty. I agree with Heather! Focus on the many things you are good at. Perhaps a new approach and acceptance will give you new insight to that whole efficiency thing... And if not, you have MANY talents that are worth so much more!
YOU ARE BOTH AWESOME....THANK YOU
I do have to chime in here. I can't help it, and believe it or not I on't preach on efficiency as I probably lack both the brains and the ability to do so. I will however respond to the people here.
To my Mudder I say "Thank You", Thanks for accepting Heather and her family into ours. She's a strong and wonderful women with traits and strengths I've never known. She is a wonderful mother and has been a God send to my son.
Heather, Thank you for doing that and being you. I know the road was long and difficult for you, however, you are wonderful and extra special in the woman you've become. I love you! I thank you for helping me to know I'm okay and that the simple things in me are valuable and worthwhile. Thank you for trusting me and allowing me to be a part of your family. I will do my best to do the best for you all. I'm far from perfect but I will try.
JAK,
Thank you for your love and forgivness all therough the years. I appreciate your example and love you for your kindness and gentleness in a world that leaves me void of anything less then profanity to describe it. You shine with a truth and a rightgeousness that this world is truely lacking. You and my lil bro have become afew of the few that I admire and look up to.
Thank you all for all you give and do and show.
OK, I did something wrong and didn't have a chance to proof read that last comment b4 it posted, sorry for the type-o's.....
Glock,
Thanks for your words. You made me cry. I admire the changes I've seen in you. I am truly saddened by what you have had to go through and am glad you have found such a wonderful companion to strengthen you and give you peace.
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