When I was in school, things were different. We weren't aware of many possibilities or choices we could make about our lives. We could be a secretary or a teacher. Most jobs were still male dominated. The sexual revolution was just a few years away...just barely missed it. In my junior or senior year of highschool, everyone got to take apptitude tests to help them see what their abilities in a career aspect might be. After the test was an interview with a counselor who would discuss your results with you. It's crazy to imagine the way my interview went in todays world but, this guy first asked me if I was LDS. Then he told me I would most likely get married soon and didn't really need to talk about my test results. He went over them in a very minimal way that took about two minutes and that was that. I will never forgive him for that.! It wasn't fair.!! So nothing very spectacular happened for me, regardless of whether I had ability or not. I feel very blessed to have married who I did, a man who loves books and studying and who is very successful in what he does. I've learned a lot from him, vicariously studying several subjects in college with him while I stayed home with my kids. Now my children are everything I ever wanted to be and more. We have amazing discussions about all kinds of things and that is very gratifying to me. Still, if I need a job, there is nothing I do that could be labled 'skilled' and I have to settle for whatever. If you have to work, you should make lots of money while you're doing it, I say.
But after all, it's a good thing to be female. That's our calling. I found it encouraging to listen to the Women's Conference broadcast on Saturday, that went hand- in-hand with the Visiting Teacher's lesson this month. And before my halo here starts to get too shiny, I will admit that it's not really easy for me to serve others. I guess it's easy when giving is about sharing all I have to give, but when it gets a little tough I just want to get going in another direction. It did me good to be reminded of my role in life. It puts things in a spotlight of simplicity and compassion, easing the burdons and enabling service to be given with a joyful heart. Our lives have been granted to us with an admonition to do all we have power to do to care for each other, helping and serving wherever we can. The Lord has asked us to "feed his sheep", serve others, and do what we can to build His kingdom. I need to remember that it's a joint effort with Him. I don't have to do everything. It's the Lord's part to create miracles. He has also promised to help us when we wear a little thin. If I ask myself "What can I do?", that's much easier than thinking I have to do all this work and fix every problem.......just "What can I do?" makes the task lighter. And that seems fair. So as I blogged before, I want to work towards seeing myself as female, with an inherent role in life (that comes from and goes through eternities), that encompasses some rather delightful talents. It doesn't have to be a role that carries everything possible. We really need that Helen B. Andelin book, [Fascinating Womanhood]. I think I'll go put on some lipstick and call my aging sister.
Mel left a comment (on jak's post, I think) about sharing the burdons of life that I really liked. Part of marriage, she explained, is for this very thing, learning to ask your partner for help when you need it. I thought is is very insightful. You should 'Check it Out' on jak's blogspot.
5 years ago
8 comments:
I like your post, MudderBear (and not just because it mentions me!). I am glad you enjoyed the R.S. broadcast. I am glad you are who you are. You have so much to offer. Don't sell yourself short; we all have a tendency to do that, but we must avoid it! I love you!
I just can't get over what the counselor said to you! The nerve! That really is sad that you would be sold so short.
But it is good to be female. There is a lot we can do and I like how you focused on doing what you can, not doing everything. I'm learning at work when I get asked really weird and obscure questions that it is okay not to know and I don't even have to try to find the answer. Knowing what my job is and that I have those answers is enough. It's kind of a hard thing to learn though. I feel stupid or unhelpful when I don't go out of my way to answer something that I don't even know why someone's asking me! Somehow that fits here.
Thank you for your posts. I find them quite comforting. You are like a wise buddha in my eyes. (Thats supposed to be a compliment). I really do think you are quite introspective and intelligent and I can see where JAK gets some of her wonderful personality from.
Yes, conference will be wonderful. I am very anxious and excited to hear what they have to say.
Emily....thank you so much. You are much more than kind. It's so nice to have met you and your mom here. I just love it. And you've been great for jak to talk to. Please stop by often.
Well, all I can say is, "It figures." I can imagine someone saying something that obtuse to you because I also grew up in that generation. I am glad our daughters have a different possibility, not that what we do is wrong, because I believe being moms is the best choice. But I am glad girls (women) get to follow their inclinations in this world and study anything they want to study, regardless of gender. In my high school, quite a few gurls had engagement rings in the spring before graduation. How was it is yours? In my ward there were 9 girls, and I was the only one who did not get married right after high school. There was a lot of pressure about that, I remember.
I think you fill so many important roles and you're beautiful just the way you are, and you are where you are by choice and by plan. I'm a firm believer that things (even bad things or drastic) happen for a reason, and most of the time its to get us where we need to be... the rest is up to us, I feel like we're placed here with so much potential, its just the world's priorities vs our own that make us question ourselves. There are days, many many days, where I give up, can't do it, its too much, I don't want to me a mom, I don't want to be responsible.... but then I look at my kids and the mountains I've climbed to get them where they are, and if they don't have me, who do they have. I may not do everything correct, but I try hard and do my best. my kids learn that I'm not perfect, I'm human and that I love them, someday they'll understand why I wanted to strangle them and someday they'll understand why I didn't and they'll thank their Heavenly Father that I was their mom. At least that's what I hope, because that's how I feel about my parents, and even you, I was brought to your family under extreme and life changing conditions, had those things not happened I wouldn't have you and I don't know if I could live like that... You're very special to me. More than I probably let on. You have a spirit about you, that's sweet and loving, non-judgemental and open, you're an angel in my life, you entered my life when I needed one and after I had lost one. You remind me so much of my Aunt and I miss her so much, but sometimes I miss her a little less when I'm around you. I don't mean to blab on... probably ought to work, but I think you have a tendency to be hard on yourself. You have a wonderful family and it takes a MOTHER to do that job.
wow Heather...I love you too.
judie...I'll have to blog about that. It's interesting how different things are now. Many of the girls in my high school were pregnant before they graduated. And it was looked down on and shameful, but I wonder if they just didn't know how to say no or handle their situations. My husband has said that anybody will wind up pregnant if they spend enough time in the backseat of a car. It looked to be true. Steve and I got married when he got home from his mission to Scotland on 9/11,,,,hmmm???1969. More than half the girls in the ward had wandered off to other lifestyles by then. Salt Lake seems to be a bit different in that respect. I think a lot of LDS kids don't want to look like goody-goodies so they flirt with the bad side and wind up staying with those bad choices. We lose a lot of them that way.
Well, lest I blog too much here, I will sign off. Thanks for your comments. I really love to know what you think. You make my day! :>
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